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The Win Bin Challenge

March 29, 2009
Step right up, boys and girls, and see the incredible WIN BIN.

Step right up, boys and girls, and see the incredible WIN BIN.

I saw this in the new subterranean retail wasteland that is the Moore Street Mall. Because finally, a bin that does not discriminate against those whose methods or contributions are not otherwise worthy of some kind of reward, prize or remuneration. No, with this all-purpose Win Bin, everyone is a winner. Just put something or your hand or your eyeball(s) into this slot and see what you’ve won!

I’m offering a fine prize to the first reader who will go to the Moore Street Mall, climb into the Win Bin, and entice passers-by to stop for a moment and Win. If you send me a video of you and/or your mates doing this, I will let you have one free go at winning something from the Win Bin, which is, of course, its own reward.

Terms and conditions below:
1. In order to win your Win Bin prize in this EXCLUSIVE Itty Bitty Hearing Trumpet competition, you must demonstrate that you are sound and don’t mind.
2. Our lawyers tell us we have to tell you and then tell you to tell everyone that we at the Itty Bitty Hearing Trumpet are not liable for anything you do that makes people think you are stupid or gets you arrested, accosted, and that if you somehow become trapped in the Win Bin, you will also send us some video footage of you trying to get out but failing at it and becoming increasingly distressed, and that this is also a legally binding agreement to which you have consented by reading as far as you did just up there.
3. Anything idiotic you do is your fault. Anything good that comes of it is to be credited to The IBHT because we just want all the good reputation we can get, even if it isn’t rightfully ours. Note we have already begun to adopt the royal ‘we’, a sign of self-aggrandisement if I ever did saw it.
4. You must provide photographic and/or video (preferably the latter) evidence that you have convinced a total stranger to win. And we must see clear evidence that the event results in feelings of winning, and/or actual prizewinning, or in threats — real or imagined — of bodily or cosmic harm to you for failing to create within them a sense of winningness, the methods of which are entirely up to you, but which will be helped along by being inside of the Win Bin because that really is going to give you the distinct advantage, over, say, not offering people a chance to win at all, or by offering that chance while stationed or positioned somewhere other than inside the Win Bin.
5. It’s not our fault. It was like that when we got there. Unless it is something like a tenner, in which case, we left that there earlier and would like it back, please because that’s not your money and we said we would give it to a charity for damaged animals who need it more than we do.
6. By reading what is written above, you have already consented to the following legally binding thing, which is that the Win Bin is its own reward.
7. Sayin’.

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